Durban — Psychologists are assuring the matric class of 2022 that the results do not define anyone, whether you got the marks you were hoping for, passed with distinctions or failed.
It was time for parents to encourage a positive outlook and focus on motivating their children to reflect on what could have gone wrong and find the means to improve their results, they said.
Moreover, they advised that those pupils who did exceptionally well should get all the support they need as they might be overwhelmed with the pressure to get into the best universities.
Rakhi Beekrum, a counselling psychologist in Durban North, advised parents that if their child did not get the results they were expecting they must support and teach them to make responsible decisions for their life and future. They must help them in considering the pros and cons of their decisions.
“It’s natural to feel disappointed. However, recognise that they are also disappointed so do not make them feel worse about it,” said Beekrum.
She said it was good for a pupil to feel all the emotions and to speak to someone they feel safe and comfortable with.
“Once you have dealt with the emotions, consider the options still available. Learn from experience. That’s how we grow,” she said.
Celeste du Toit, a transformational life coach, speaker and holistic therapist, said the biggest support parents could give their child was to truly listen to them, even to what they are not communicating.
“Remember, they are crossing a huge threshold in their life.
Du Toit said communication was key – even though teenagers might not verbalise it, it was imperative that they knew their parents had their back.
“Let your child understand that it is not about a ‘result’ but about ensuring their dreams are met,” she said.
Support included guidance, healthy encouragement, but also boundaries. It was imperative for parents to let the support, collaboration and encouragement be clear.
“Work on practical steps for the future, rather than chasing a degree or results. This also applies to top achievers.”
Tholinhlanhla Dlamini-Ngcoya, a counselling psychologist at Amanzimtoti Wellness Centre, said parents should not hesitate to seek help if their children expressed suicidal thoughts.
“A lot of other circumstances could have contributed to your results, some beyond your control. Think what you can do better to improve your marks and consider skills training facilities if you do not qualify to go to university.”
Previous years had been very challenging because of Covid-19, load shedding and other social ills, including the floods. Life had many challenges to overcome and rise above.
“If you feel overwhelmed, seek help from mental health practitioners or social workers.
“To those with great marks but feeling under pressure to go to universities but cannot afford to get there please also seek help – speak up, do not die in silence,” said Dlamini-Ngcoya.
Daily News